Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas


"There was this soul I used to torture back in hell. And like a good masochist, he'd call the shots. 'Burn me, freeze me, hurt me.' So, I did. And this went on for centuries until one day, for some reason, he missed his daily punishment. And when I returned he was crying. 'Please, my king, don't ever forget me again. I promise I'll be good.' It was then that I realized he was so full of self loathing, void of any self respect, that no matter the depth of my cruelty, whatever minuscule attention I paid, it gave meaning to his pointless existence. He reminds me of you, yipping at my heels for scraps to remind you of a time of when you once mattered." I don't believe in a plan of God, divine intervention, or predetermined destiny. We are creatures with free will (with *some* limitations) and we are all highly unique moments of the universe being at least slightly conscious of itself. Sure there are some forces more powerful than us, but that doesn't necessarily negate your ability to take responsibility for your own actions, reactions, and thoughts. The above quote is an example of how disgusting it can feel to give up that internal locust of control. This dance was inspired by a memory that entered into my headspace. I had a hard time understanding what it meant to be a human growing up (still do, maybe even moreso). I don't understand why people hide behind pain, anger, fear AND YET also run away from it. It just causes a snowball effect. No one ever wants to look it in the eye and say "hey you will not be in control of this meat sack." Is it honestly more comfortable to sit in the filth, or let the filth define you? If this is the only bit of consciousness you will EVER have, and there are no afterlives or reincarnations, are you really okay with just waiting out the clock? While my meat sack is functioning, I feel like taking control and seeing how far this hot rod can take me. If at the end, I'm proven wrong about all of this, that'd be hilarious 😂

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