ADMITTING. A. DREAM.
Every single time I set a new goal for myself that I think will take ten years to accomplish, I end up achieving it within a year! So I'm going to be honest and admit my ultimate dream (*showgirl specifically, I've got other things in mind for mathematics). It's fucking big and scary... but so was everything else 😬
BACKSTORY: Back in 2006, Panic! At The Disco did this performance at the MTV VMA's. That was when I knew I wanted to go into the entertainment industry, but more importantly, I wanted to tell beautiful stories to live audiences. Fast forward to 2015, nailed it. Thought to myself; okay, make a bigger goal that's harder to achieve. Perform in a smokey cabaret in Las Vegas, that seems impossible. Fast forward to December 2017, nailed it. Okay, shit DREAM BIGGER! Be a part of a monumentally epic show in Las Vegas with world renowned performers and an insanely touching message... September 2018, nailed it. GOD DAMN IT WHY AM I NOT GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION TO DREAM BIGGER? Turns out I was just scared to admit this dream, but my friend told me that the best way to manifest my destiny is to write it out clearly and meditate on my intentions so here I go: Brendon Urie of P!ATD talked about after this #prayforthewicked tour, he would be interested in making a traveling show because he loved his time on Broadway and thought it could be cool to tour with a bigger production. Not that this is a reality by any means at this time, but this artist is not known to sit still. I WANT TO BE IN A PRODUCTION WRITTEN / DIRECTED / PRODUCED / WHATEVER BY THIS MAN. His music is brilliant, his inclusivity and pro-queer messages are important, his artistic vision is unique, his popularity comes from him being authentically himself, he's a progressive human that always wants improvement, his fan base isn't scary or threatening lol, and this music has been my life's soundtrack. So if you're wondering why I've been performing to P!ATD a lot over the past year, it's more because I'm building up a circus resume for this potential opportunity. Of course I love the music, but this isn't just me being a fan - this is me working on nailing a dream gig that may or may not even exist 😭😂 I'm totally okay with admitting this, then watching it never happen. But also I've said that about everything else and then it did happen?? So what if I actually try?!?